I sit here writing, just like Carrie Bradshaw did in the Sex and the City series--about the complexities of love and the impacts it has on a person.
We can all agree love is intoxicating and deep--it gives you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, it will take you and hug you tightly or totally rip you apart. That is why I am writing about it and I hope you will take the time to see what I have to say and explain the impact love has had on me and from the countless observations I have collected.
Throughout this short time I have been on this earth, I have observed many relationships, platonic and romantic, new and old, young and mature. I have seen them crumble and I have seen them thrive, but the most important thing I take away is that love succeeds with mutual respect and friendship.
One thing that grinds my gears and gets me heated is codependence. You my dear reader are not a half of anything, you were born whole and will remain whole until the day you die. We will not leave this planet alive and the only person you have, right now, is yourself. More specifically, to my dear millennial friends, we are far too progressed in this modern society to be relying on someone to give us the love we can't give ourselves. We are too young to be worrying about what our future lives may be like with the partner(s) that may or may not show up.
I will say I have been in love, I know I have been loved, but that all comes with a price. You either give yourself fully and get screwed over or you can't find yourself giving enough love back to the individual who wants you so badly.
Quite honestly, I think love impacts the way you view yourself. If you cannot fully embrace all the messy, interesting, dysfunctional parts of yourself, how the fuck will you be able to give love back to someone else? This goes for both platonic and romantic partners.
One of the greatest pieces I read, after a major heartbreak from someone who didn't mutually love me back, was from one of my all time favorite authors/books: Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love. It may be stupidly cliche but here it is:
- Life's metaphors are [insert higher power of choice or not] instructions.
-You have just climbed up and above the roof. There is nothing between you and the Infinite. Now, let go.
-The day is ending. It's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
-Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You being here is [hp's] response. Let go and watch the starts come out--on the outside and on the inside.
-With all your heart, ask for grace, and let go.
-With all your heart, for give [them], FORGIVE YOURSELF, and let [them] go.
-Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering. Then, let go.
- Watch the heat of the day pass into the cool night. Let go.
-When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go.
-When the past has passed from you at last, let go. Then climb down and begin the rest of your life. With great joy.
This mantra/prayer taught me to let the intense feelings I have for others and let them go. It let me release them to the universe and gave me hope for a more open and fuller heart.
We go through life wanting so much. At the end of the day, we just want to be with someone who makes our heart smile, who deals with your bullshit and idiosyncrasies, and ultimately a person who will pull us out of the darkness and into the light. (and you to do the same, of course.) In reality, I think need to do this for ourselves and if this behavior intimidates a certain person in your life, he/she/them isn't for you. When you find that love, it will be perfect, it will be impactful and it will cultivate a wisdom for a new and open heart.
Be inspired. Stay Positive. Love Yourself.