22 years old and I face fear head on. Jobless (for now) and I have no idea of what is to come from this. As I look at my life, thus far, I have faced fear at almost every milestone.
- 6 years old, lost my beautiful aunt and 2 cousins in a tragic car accident.
- 8 years old, shattered femur while rollerblading (3 year recovery).
- 11 years old, my parents unwanted divorce and father's full-blown addiction.
- 18 years old, moving to a new city and starting my first year of college
- 20 year old, father's addiction relapse and official "coming out"
- 21 years old, graduate from college
- 22 years old, jobless
In all instances, fear resides. Fearful of what was to come and what clearly is. Most of my life is based out of this almost debilitating feeling. In all cases, I breathe through the uncomfortableness this emotion feeds me. I take it and I work with it. I tell myself. "I can." "I will." "I am."
The faces of fear are the demons we meet--it is the reality and stories we tell ourselves. Can you imagine what our world would be like if we didn't base it out of every negative, fear-based experience?
Fear is like that co-worker you can't stand. The ones that nit-pick and talk to you in a condescending tone. The ones that soak up your failures and shortcomings. Fear wants you to lose in this life. It is the egotistical asshole we cannot stand.
Let it not kill us.
Let is not determine our soulful paths.
Notice your uncertainty and move through the ebbs and flows with grace and a grateful heart.
I look back and I smile. I will not let fear take me into its clenching arms. I will look past it and move towards the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
Let us win this together. In the end, we all don't get out of here alive.